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Cabinet Van Den

Systemic therapy

Couple therapy - Individual therapy

End of life and bereavement support
 

ALBI

If we wish to feel fulfilled in life, we must first give ourselves permission.

We inherit more than just our eye colour. Unknowingly and often unwillingly, we remain faithful to our family history and to the ways in which our parents functioned. We find ourselves reproducing some of their behavioural patterns, even if we try not to.

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Home

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult."

Seneca

Therapy

Taking real care of ourselves is not yet widely accepted as a normal part of daily life, even though we are used to going to the hairdresser, the dentist or the beautician and to practising sports.
 
​Seeing a therapist can be compared to sorting through an old wardrobe that has grown bigger over time and which contains some things that are neatly arranged and others that lie in an untidy heap. Together, we go through the wardrobe and identify which things you want to keep because they’re good for you, which are still useful, and which may be getting in the way of your moving forward. And in the latter case, we find out how to let go of those things without feeling guilty or regretful.

And so we tidy up the beautiful, complex wardrobe of our life and make space for the new.
 
​Engaging in a therapeutic process is an investment in the long-term, a gift we make to ourselves and to the people around us

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Couple Therapy

 If love was enough, we would know by now...

Infidelity, abusive behaviour, endless arguments, abusive or non-existent sexual relations, distance, falsehoods, loss of trust, solitude, depression…

A couple is like a dance involving two partners. 

The dance of the couple is danced for two.  

If these words ring a bell with you and if the systemic approach feels right, I invite you to contact me for more information.

A relationship is an adventure, a mission, a project or a desire in which we cannot know in advance how it will evolve nor how it will end. There is no instruction manual that suits everyone, each couple is unique in terms of what it needs and how it functions.

 

The couple is a kind of mechanism made up of conversations and behaviours involving two people. Sometimes we need tools to help us make adjustments.

 

I like using the following metaphor: When there’s a suspicious noise under the bonnet of your car, you don’t carry on driving regardless. You consult a professional car mechanic because you don’t want your car to get damaged or to break down.

 

If there are worrying signs in your relationship such as misunderstandings which lead to arguments, a feeling of distance between you and your partner, difficulties arising out of things unsaid, untruths or infidelity, I invite you to get in touch with me so that we can find out together what is going on “under the bonnet” and then add some new items to your relationship toolbox so your life as a couple can move forward.


 
With respect and goodwill, without judgment.

​End of life and the grieving process 

END OF LIFE SUPPORT
 

In my practice, I have seen how regrets can continue to eat away at and weigh down the grieving process. "I should have", "I didn't dare", "I didn't know if...". In those last days, weeks or months with a loved one, everyone protects everyone else. It has been my privilege to provide support to families and individuals during these intense times. I say "privilege" because these moments are very rich in emotions, love and LIFE!

 

I can assist you in finding rituals that are meaningful to the whole family, rituals that soothe. Gentle ways of coming full circle.

 

It is particularly important for children and adolescents to be active participants in a ritual or action which has meaning for them and which can be shared by all in a non-judgemental context.

 

In the context of end-of-life support, I can visit your home or a medical centre.


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SUPPORT FOR THE GRIEVING PROCESS


Grief is a necessary and inevitable process. Sometimes, depending on the context, the process is particularly difficult, painful or disorientating and can completely disrupt the lives of those who are left behind.

 

Rather than resort to antidepressants, you can allow yourself to be supported and guided through this suffering, however intimate it may be.

 

Understanding the process of grief and its consequences for everyday family life will enable you to find your bearings and to move forward more steadily from day to day. When a member of a family is no longer present, the effect is to unbalance the whole, rather like a mobile with a missing part. Each family member needs to find a new place so that the family system can again be balanced.
 

In order to avoid more hurt, a grieving family will often seek to protect itself with silence. Things left unsaid and emotions that have not been expressed can build up and create conflicts or misunderstandings and can eventually lead to an unbearable situation within the family. Everyone experiences grief differently, depending on the relationship he or she had with the deceased.

 

I can provide support as family members examine together how each individual is experiencing the absence of the deceased. I will assist you in identifying meaningful rituals or activities that you can share together (or not), thus bringing family members together, providing relief and enabling you to discover resources within yourself and within the family.

 

I can come to the home of one or other of the family members to facilitate a meeting between all those concerned.

Analysis Systemic

WHAT IS THE FUNCTION OF THE DYSFUNCTION?
 

The systemic approach or systemic vision invites us to take a step back and observe the relationships between people. When, for example, in a couple, a family, or amongst siblings, one of the people is suffering and adopts behaviour that is destabilising for those around them.

 

Dysfunction can be used to hide the source of real suffering, like a bandage that prevents a wound from healing.

 

The systemic approach or systemic analysis was developed in the mid 20th century at the Palo Alto school in California.

 

Systemic therapy is, amongst other things, a vision of the world, a view that takes into consideration the content of verbal and non-verbal communication within relationships.

The family or couple enlist the help of a therapist when the way in which their relationship works is no longer satisfactory. This can become apparent when harmony turns to discord, difficulties and then problems.

 

During the process, we work together to uncover new ways for you to relate to each other, to enable each individual to find their own place and to feel safe.

 

This approach also applies to individual therapy.

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Who I am ?

Born in the Netherlands, I came to France in 1978 and it’s here that I grew up, experienced life, studied, shared, had encounters, gave and received, laughed and cried…

 

I work in and around Albi (Castres, Rodez, Carmaux, Gaillac, Graulhet…)

 

Trained in systemic analysis and a graduate of Rouen and Paris 11 universities, I have been working in private practice for over 10 years.

 

Founder of the Atelier Le Petit Merle, a bereavement support workshop where I work with symbolic objects and rituals, and co-founder of the Penant practice in Normandy.

Contact

CONTACT

CONSULTING ROOMS :
ESPACE SANTÉ GAMBETTA
17 RUE LOUIS JOLY - BUREAU 6
81000 ALBI

4 AVENUE DE LA REPUBLIQUE
81170 CORDES / CIEL

 

BY TÉLÉPHONE :

06 41 76 97 99

BY SKYPE :
HOW DOES IT WORK ?

You make an appointment by email or phone.

Once you have paid for the session (with a cheque sent in the post or a bank transfer), you contact me at the agreed time and date.

SCHEDULE

Albi: Tuesday - Friday: 8:30a.m - 7:00p.m
Cordes Sur Ciel: Monday - Thursday - Saturday-Morning only : 8:30 a.m. - 7:00 p.m

Private parking at your disposal.

 

If you are in the areas of Saint Antonin Noble Val - Caussade - Gaillac, please contact me for information.

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Insanity is doing the same thing

over and over and expecting different results.

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